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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Citizens Of Hope And Glory! Time Goes By, It’s The Time Of Your Life! 

…easy now, sit you down. Chewing through your Wimpy dreams they eat without a sound, digesting England by the pound.

On Friday morning, creepy Keith from accounts, the poisonous little fucker, casually asked Charlotte, Bill Surname’s loyal PA, if she was going to a Big Brother party that evening.

She promptly burst into tears, hurried off to the toilets and has been signed off sick ever since.
Keith punched the air in triumph.
In the blog version of events I would have told him he was a worthless, vindictive piece of shit, which would have been entirely fitting, not to say very satisfying, but what I actually said was disappointingly muted in comparison.
“I hope you’re pleased with yourself, Fuckface.”
Of course, he took it as a compliment, gurning and looking around to see if anybody else had seen what he’d done.

I thought Charlotte was your archetypal “dreads Friday, can’t wait for Monday” kind of person, so she must have it bad.
It’s been a difficult time for her, with all this talk of buyouts and takeovers, and Keith just couldn’t stop himself. They say she comfort eats. I say she's not alone and it's none of their fucking business.

“Evil. Utterly destructive,” said Mike. I thought for a moment he was coming out in sympathy, but it transpired he was watching the cricket on his little hand held jobby and was unconsciously stating aloud his love for Andrew Flintoff.

Stella’s been in reflective mode. She’d sprung into the office on Wednesday afternoon full of the joys, dressed up in her interview finest, and was up up up for the remainder of the week.
Today she looked like she’d been knocked for six.

“Didn’t get the job then?” I asked, when I saw her in the car park.
“What job? How did…”
“Wednesday morning? Salford Quays?” I said. “I’ve got spies everywhere.”
“Yeah, well. Didn’t want it anyway,” she said.

She was merely dipping her toe in the water, getting a feel for the job market. Because you never know, do you?
The light began to fail and we went in for tea.

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