Monday, March 15, 2004

Meet The New Boss 

This morning we are introduced to Neil, who is our latest team leader. It's a shame - he seems like a decent enough bloke. He'll be our fifth team leader in the three years since I joined the department. They always start off bright eyed and bushy tailed, all pie charts and overhead projections, but it's never very long before their sunny dispositions have been all but squished out of them. They become ghosts of their former selves. At hometime we stampede all over them as we race to the car park, their broken spirits splattered under our feet like teamleader roadkill ("Not the face! Not the face!" they whimper). The robust approach to customer relations by certain team members surely plays its part. (Customer: "I wonder if you can help me. I can't find the file I was working on yesterday". Mike: "Are you on fucking drugs?")
I walk into Neil's office this afternoon to tell him that the colour printer is on the blink. He doesn't notice me standing there, but I can see that he's already ahead of me. He has printed out his latest graph in black and white and is contentedly preoccupied with colouring in the pieces of pie by hand. He softly hums a happy tune to himself and touches the tip of his nose with his tongue all the while. I tiptoe out of the room and leave him to it.

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