Monday, September 27, 2004
The strangest thing happened to me yesterday.
I was opening the cupboard in the Tadpole's bedroom where the tumble dryer lives, my arms full of dirty washing (oh my glamorous Parisian life), when a roaring sound filled my ears and everything went dark (possibly because I closed my eyes). The next thing I knew I was seated - uncomfortably - on the saddle of an exercise bike in a pristinely tidy, white room with a futon and velux windows, a wet sock in my hand. Hang on, it looked strangely familiar... Could this be the famous Attic Studio Complex? Tim did say he would sort something out so that I could nip back and forth from my place to his, but I didn't realise quite what he had planned. A portal. My word. Ingenious.
The Attic Studio Complex felt smaller than it looked on the photo - Tim must have one of those distorting camera lenses estate agents are so fond of - but it was just as depressingly tidy as on the photo.
I decided that it would be sensible to check without further ado whether the portal worked both ways, as the Frog would be getting back from the park with the Tadpole shortly, and they'd be wondering where I'd got to. But I couldn't resist having a quick look around before leaving. A metal box on top of the bookcase caught my eye. I lifted the lid, letting my curiousity get the better of me, and found the following:
- a signed copy of "How to buy a house" by Phil Spencer and Kirsty Allsopp (inside a protective plastic sleeve);
- several marbles;
- a rather dog-eared post-it note with some dialogue on it starting: "We're lost captain...";
- a pocket-sized tub of vaseline, roughly the size of a £2 coin.
These dispelled any doubts I may still have had about my whereabouts.
I climbed back onto the exercise bike praying that the manoeuvre would work in reverse, and as I put my feet on the pedals, I felt myself start to fade away. This time a bright light (the sun?) blinded my eyes, and there I was back home again, sitting on the floor surrounded by wet washing. My flat suddenly looked very chaotic and untidy in comparison.
So it would appear that I'll be able to come and go as I please over the next fortnight. Please let me know if there is anything in particular you would like me to investigate next time I'm over there...
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