Monday, October 04, 2004

The Mess We're In 

I've had visitors for the past few days so it has been hard to find a convenient time to use the portal. My guests didn't even know about my blog, let alone Tim's, so it was all a bit too complicated.

Anyway, I managed to dispatch everyone off to the park on Sunday afternoon, on the pretext that I wanted some quality housework time. This ploy never fails: the Frog can't believe his luck at getting off scot-free and, like most men, doesn't actually notice if the place is any cleaner when he gets back. It never is. I just leave a few dusters and cleaning products out.

Upon arrival at Tim's, the first thing I noticed was Tadpole's chocolate fingerprints on the futon, so I decided to take the cover down to the kitchen and stick it in the washing machine, praying the chocolate stains hadn't been left on too long. Who buys white furniture anyway? You can tell they haven't got kids/pets...

The kitchen light wouldn't go on for some reason. In the dim light it looked like something had been at the rubbish bin - rodents? All the clocks on the electrical appliances were flashing and showing the wrong time. I stepped in a pool of water in front of the fridge freezer, which must have defrosted.

Oh bugger - why did things have to go wrong on my watch? I managed to find the electricity meter under the stairs and tripped the switch, which seemed to do the trick. Why it had gone off in the first place, I'll never know. Maybe using a portal causes a power surge?

I thought I'd better check the fridge to make sure Tim and his missus wouldn't be welcomed home by fluffy green vegetables and rancid butter. Actually, the fridge was bare and smellt of bleach. Admirable foresight. But wait, what was that? Something oval was floating in a puddle on the bottom shelf. A Kinder egg. It looked like there might once have been something written on the wrapper with a marker pen. But the water had smudged it and it was now almost incomprehensible: "Boldly drowned dog"??

*lightbulb appears above petite anglaise's head*

Oh shit...

posted by petite anglaise

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