Monday, October 11, 2004

A New England 

What’s the matter here?
I was sure that socks went in the top drawer down and pants in the second drawer. And my favourite stain on the futon where I dolloped tiramisu last Christmas - the one that I liked to suck while waiting for inspiration to arrive - it’s gone. What will I do now?

The badly drawn egg has melted and the writing is all smudged. It’s ruined, taking with it my plans of early retirement to a condo on the Cape.
And Girlfriend will go double mad when she realises someone has binned her Gareth Gates CDs again. Do you know how difficult it is trying to remove the vile stench of rotting vegetable off those things?

The Q magazines never used to be sorted in chronological order. I used to have them sorted on issues with the most pictures of Bob ‘hasn’t done anything interesting since the sixties so why do we persist with him?’ Dylan. It took bloody ages setting that up. Number one was February 1998 with seventy three photos. In the event of a tie, I’d move down to Noel Gallagher and then Paul Weller. After that I’d lay Madonna, Britney and Kylie down on the floor and let them fight it out between themselves.

It looks like a tramp has been living in the shed. There’s a dirty blanket in the corner, a selection of smutty novellas where I used to keep my illegal creosote stockpile, and they’ve installed wi-fi where the Flymo used to be.
But that can’t be right. Must be my mind playing tricks on me.

Whatever. A big up goes out to my guest blogging crew and many thanks to the readers who kept the faith these past two weeks. Great stats everybody. I see there was a couple of days you were up in the eighties. What happened there? Did I miss a glowing review in Loft Converter’s Gazette or something?

We had a brilliant time in New England. It’s absolutely wonderful. I started writing a journal type thing, which deteriorated to briefer and briefer notes as time passed by. I also took approximately fourteen million photographs, so I should be able to string some thoughts together and I’ll be blogging stuff up retrospectively in the coming days.
Is it a bit wanky blogging about your holidays? Mmm, possibly. But if I don’t write things down I forget them, like that time a few years ago in Ireland when, erm… I can’t remember exactly, but didn’t I… no, I think that was someone else (John Cusack?), might have been in Belgium actually.

So while I can I’ll write what I remember.
To starts things rolling, here’s some cautionary advice from Grafton, Vermont. It’s a photo of me and Girlfriend and it illustrates what will happen to your blood sugar levels when you eat too many pancakes with maple syrup.

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