Sunday, January 16, 2005

Pictures Of You 

Shifting masses of data from one place to another is not as gruelling a task as, say, shifting masses of bricks from one place to another, but it’s what passes for work in my world. It involves typing in a couple of commands then twiddling your thumbs for hours on end waiting for it to finish.

Weekend data shifting is especially tiresome, although it does provide a rare opportunity to slide up and down the corridor in your socks, careering through fire doors and crashing the drinks machine into random shuffle mode, and all on time and a half.

Even when empty, the office is never silent. The low hum of air conditioning and the buzz of machines unswitched off is always with you, like tinnitus.

A few observations:

Men with partners put photos of their wives or girlfriends on their desks.
As men get older, the pictures of wives are gradually replaced by photos of their dogs in heroic poses.

Women with partners prefer to display photos of their children.
They will also have photos taken in restaurants on girl’s nights out, where everybody looks really "I'll tell you what, Rita. I'm completely pissed!"

Single men show off pictures of their cars.

Single women go for pictures of their cats. Nephews, nieces and friends’ babies also feature strongly.

Gay men have photos of their cats, and pictures of themselves on holiday. There is only one openly gay man in our office, so I admit this may not be very representative. However, I see that Martin from Purchasing has a picture of himself wearing a non-football scarf in Paris. I’ve had my suspicions.

Gay women have pictures of themselves with friends, hundreds and hundreds of friends, taken on holiday, down the pub, putting tents up, making a cup of tea, just about anywhere.

Older single women of all persuasions pick up the cat theme and run with it - dozens and dozens of cats. Horses come up quite a lot too.

Creepy Keith from Accounts has four photos of his car, two of himself paint balling and an aerial photograph of the street where his ex-wife now lives.

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