Friday, April 15, 2005

Is There Anyone Else Who Has Slightly Mysterious Bruises? 

“Morning Homer,” chirruped Stella as she bounced into the office.
“Aha!” I said. “It’s Sideshow Bob, actually.”

Mike, Terry, Ash and Zippy looked up from their screens and stared at me.

“I’ve had my people look into this, and it’s Sideshow Bob in the rake scene. Not Homer. So there! Ha ha ha ha!”
“You have people?” asked Stella, looking bemused.
“Yes I do.”
“You have people constantly on hand to research Simpsons episodes for you?”
“That’s right, Stella. Friendly little people who live inside my computer at home. They put me right on all sorts of matters. Sometimes they just chat amongst themselves. They know their shit. It was the Cape Fear episode, since you ask.”

By now, everybody was giving me that look. It wasn’t a look of pity and barely (bearly?) suppressed laughter. Not by any means. It was one of silent awe and respect.

Feeling somewhat vindicated, I spun round on my swivelly chair to face my PC with a theatrical flourish, catching my leg painfully on a set of drawers, knocking over two cold mugs of coffee and deleting the previous hour’s work in so doing.

Last night, me and Girlfriend went to see the fabulously now Rufus Wainwright at the rather groovy Lowry in Manchester. What a memorable encore.

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