Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Reach Out, I'll Be There 

“Put this skirt on,” she said and so I did.
I look good in a tight black rubber skirt and I don’t mind who knows it. It flattened my stomach, squeezed my buttocks into line and the over all effect was, I think, very flattering. Looking good has it’s price, of course, and mine was not being able to breathe.
“If it’s really bothering you,” she said, "take it off. You’ll get wet though.”

Taking the skirt off was even more difficult than putting it on, which didn’t go unremarked upon by the two men standing by the side of the canal.
“It’s my first time!” I called out to them when we eventually paddled past. We had a little chuckle. There’s no end to the lengths I’ll go to to give old blokes walking their dogs something to blog about when they get home.

I really loved my first canoeing lesson.
Canoeing Instructor was brilliant, never more than a few seconds away in case I should suddenly find myself upside down with my head scraping along the bottom.
“If you go in, which you won’t,” she said, “I’ll be there. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Wow. How great is that? Everybody should have a canoeing instructor like her in their lives.

I spent a lot of time paddling round in circles for no apparent reason but after an hour or so my straight line work was coming on in leaps and bounds. It took a lot less time coming back than it did getting there, and I can’t wait for the next lesson. I’m so proud.

In the pub afterwards, she bought me my first post-canoeing pint. Girlfriend and Leanne were already there. I told them about how brave I’d been and how great I looked in the rubber skirt and they smiled and listened patiently as you might to a child after his first day at school.
It’s been a long time coming. A really lovely summer evening.

And now I know what I want for Christmas - no, not a black rubber skirt, although perhaps, perhaps…

Dear Santa, what I’d really like, please, is my own canal. I could run along it or walk along it, swim in it, canoe in it, maybe open up a nice little canal side pub, have friends around to relax and have a laugh. It’s got to be the ultimate piece of leisure equipment. How cool would that be? I’ll look after it and keep it clean and everything. I promise that I’ve been really good all year.

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