Sunday, September 04, 2005

A Day At The Races 

If you want racing tips I’m your man. The secret is not to bet on anything that I do. You’ll be quids in, and you can buy us all a drink with your winnings.

We went to York Races. A lovely warm day, like it was still high summer, cars overheating on the approach roads and everything, and only spoiled by the fact that Girlfriend stopped at the house on account of not feeling well. She’s a bit of a racing enthusiast so that was a real bummer. We’ll go again soon.
We lunched on Pimms, burgers and chips, just like posh people you read about in the better quality newspapers, and met up again with my friend Steve - my own friend! - after he’d left the house early to put in a bit of racing of his own.

I’m guessing that most first time race goers are surprised by how tiny the horses are - they’re more like whippets than the riding ponies you’re used to seeing down your local on a Saturday - not to mention the miniscule minuteness of the jockeys. The poor sods have to live purely on coffee and cigarettes in order to keep their weight down, like supermodels or Hugh Grant in Notting Hill, and I bet jockeys don’t even bother with coffee either.

Leanne won £166 on Typhoon Ginger, 33-1 in the 3.55. Bet £6 on it. A childhood spent mucking out circus horses has it’s advantages.
My best effort was clawing 40p back on Nanton in the 2.45. Childhood spent planning a career in pop music and collecting bogeys.

There was a squirrel in a car being chased by Jack Russells which nearly traumatised Fairly Famous Actor again, and his Glamorous Girlfriend won nearly as much as Leanne. She gets her information from the friend of a bloke she knows from the pub.

I asked a girl if she’d mind me taking her photo, and we chatted a bit. Leanne said that I’d pulled, but it wasn’t like that at all. I’m just one of those people that’s only gregarious when it comes to ladies in zebra hats.

In the evening we adapted the water bombs game - two players launch them at each other. Very funny but we kept missing. Needed refining.

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