Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I Haven't Heard A Word I've Said 

Diana, Head Of Marketing, summoned me to the canteen this afternoon for a debrief.
For twenty minutes I sat happily scattering foodstuffs about my person while she told me about her new job.

“You look nice,” I said. “Been for an interview or something?”
“Yes Tim,” she replied patiently. “I just told you. I had an interview this morning. They’ve just been on to offer me the job.”
“Or maybe you’ve got a big date tonight?” I wondered. “Or you’re going to a wedding?”
“I had an interview this morning.”
“Nobody ever gets married in the evening, do they? You’d never find a vicar, for one thing. Too bloody busy eating crumpets by the fire, or helping people in trouble.”
“I had an interview this morning and they’ve just offered me the job.”
“Funny lot, vicars, you know. So where are you going tonight? Anywhere nice?”
“I’m thinking of accepting. What do you reckon?”
“I went to school with a vicar. He wasn’t a vicar at the time, obviously. But he is now. Last thing I heard, anyway.”

She drew a little stick woman on a paper napkin. The stick woman was walking through a door. A speech bubble bobbed above her head, which said “Bye bye Tim! New job! Bye bye!”

“Defrocked,” I said. “That’s a funny word, isn’t it? They don’t do themselves any favours, do they? With words like that.”

Not long afterwards, back at my desk, she sent me an instant message thingy. It said “I’ve accepted it.”
“Bloody knew it,” I replied. “I knew you’d be off this year.”
“Yeah, and I knew you were listening really.”

I told her that she’d be back, and all that stuff about the devil you know. Once she realised it’s even more rubbish on the outside. People always come back.

I wandered over to blab the news to Stella, my eighties style yuppie witch of a team leader, but she was too engrossed in a copy of ‘Ethical Intimidation For Dummies’ and didn’t hear a word I said.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Copyright(c) 2004-2010 by Tim, A Free Man In Preston.
It kind of goes without saying, but this is my blog. I own it.

Slightly daft MP3 disclaimer: All MP3's are posted here for a limited time only. Music is not posted here with the intention to profit or violate copyright. In the unlikely event that you are the creator or copyright owner of a song published on this site and you want it to be removed, let me know.