Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Forgotten But Not Yet Gone 

One of the things I like most about working for Company X, perhaps the only thing, come to think of it, is this:
You are never in any doubt as to how much your contribution as an employee is valued. Because it is sod all.

I’ve worked at many places where staff have laboured under the misapprehension that they’re making a difference to their collective fortunes, that their efforts amount to something, that a benign God-head figure is looking down from an oak panelled boardroom and will, any day now, bestow generous rewards upon them in a gesture of merciful gratitude.

That may be the case where you work, or it may not. No such room for misunderstanding here at Company X.
The board of directors would like you to clear your desk, each and every one of you, and piss off, right now, never to darken their door again. They might never publicly express it in those terms, but you only have to see the look in their eyes to know it to be true.

The last of the leavers left today, Seriously Weird Nancy, gone to paint watercolours, and take long walks and even longer baths, and there was no collection and no leaving drinks at the pub.
It’s kind of sad because she thought she was more popular, more appreciated, but as I’ve come to learn over the years, you don’t necessarily reap what you sow. All those homemade flapjacks and fairy cakes - where did she think they would get her?

Bill Surname, CEO, has announced there will be no need for compulsory redundancies at this time. The interest in voluntary ‘early release’ was over subscribed by ten squillion to one.
We can all get back to work now and focus on our core business activities, he says, safe in the knowledge that our immediate futures are secure, and nobody believes a word of it for a moment.

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