Thursday, December 28, 2006

Killing Me Softly 

My support group meeting for sufferers of Compulsive Singing Disorder was cancelled this week. We piled round to Smock Dave’s house instead.

There’s a nice little core of middling to bad local musicians taking shape, and for somebody who has never really been a part of anything, I’m quite proud to be a part of this.

We all did our party pieces - me? Two Britneys and a Laura Cantrell - before it wound up as a session whereby three chords equals good, and if anybody can remember at least one or two of the words from, say, Johnny B Good or Fun Fun Fun, then that’s even better.

A tanked up former German lady with a recently retired and consequently bewildered company man husband - blazer, slacks, Oxford brogues, straight out of a Two Ronnies sketch - imparted percussion related survival advice.
“In the Canadian wilderness,” she swayed in a brown dress, “the sound of a jingle bell will keep bears away. They just know to keep their distance. You’ll never be bothered by bears with a jingle bell on your hat.”
“Great,” I said. “I’ll try to remember that.”
“Oddly enough, though,” she continued, “it will attract wolves.”
“What about wilderness regions outside Canada?” I asked, but she’d already drifted away, profiterole in one hand, tankard of Liebfraumilch in the other, wobbling frighteningly, shaking her stuff to the groovy sounds of someone doing Killing Me Softly.

Me and Girlfriend walked home through the empty windswept streets of our little town - the occasional bedroom light still on here, the shadowy flicker of a television there, all quiet at the police station, the only sound of life coming from a supermarket delivery bay, and strangely, the confused nocturnal chirruping of a blackbird at half past three in the morning.

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