Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Bright Side Of The Road 

A new woman has entered my life.
She is authoritative though not too bossy, and speaks in precise, clipped English tones, like a lady from an Ealing comedy.
I wasn't sure how Girlfriend would take to her - she was a little frosty at first, but there seems to be a thawing. I think they'll become not great pals as such, but will learn to respect and appreciate the other's finer qualities.

The new woman in my life says things like "At the next roundabout, take the third exit," and quite often "Turn around at the next available opportunity," or - this is my favourite - "You have reached your destination" which makes me feel rather grand and competent.

I can't quite believe I've bought one of those Satellite Navigation GPS thingies, but I'm full of surprises me, and you've got to keep up with the times, etc.
The posh lady needs to brush up on her one way systems around Kendal though - Booths car park, very funny, ha ha - but apart from that I'm impressed.

We've already programmed into her an itinerary for our great Californian road trip. I'm hoping this will relieve Girlfriend from the pressure of having to make snappy left or right decisions while I concentrate on trying to steer the car onto the correct side of the law. I’m confident the three of us will get along just fine.

In other news: we had a very pleasant afternoon with Leanne on Sunday, celebrating her birthday in the pub. I got to meet her Dad and one of her sisters for the first time, and there were friends and beer and crisps and a smoking ban, so it was really good. There were some nice family moments going on apparently, which like so many things, I didn’t pick up on until it was explained to me afterwards.

On Monday I popped round to visit Mum and we had a long chat. She thinks she’s finally on her way out. She’s been saying this for as long as I can remember, although last year she gave us one hell of a scare and we all thought “This is it.”
So she wanted to talk bank accounts, direct debits, where she and Dad hid the stolen bullion - up a hollow tree trunk by the football pitches in Stanley Park! Would you credit it? - what’s to be done with her, and so on. It must be a very strange state to find yourself in, that wanting to get things finalised, set out neat and tidy. So that was a laugh.

Now I’m off to count socks and pants and compilation CDs again.

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